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Friday, March 19, 2010

MEMO: I. T. Staffing


Dork Corp. Employees,

It has come to management’s attention that the email systems have been perceived as unreliable. This is untrue. This is simply a cost cutting measure implemented by Mr. Darth G. DoomBringer, VP of IT. By reducing the utilization of email we can save Dork Corp. $.25 a month. Over the course of centuries we will have saved several hundred dollars in operating expenses.

As with the Personsoft Project, Information Technology will be tripling the staff in order to implement this new methodology. It is important to remember that you have to spend money to save money. Personsoft is a prime example of this in action. Dork Corp. is saving thousands of dollars a month with Personsoft while only spending twice that savings on the extra needed IT staffing required to support the system.

In a further cost cutting measure by management, all local IT staff will be terminated using the Rapid Termination Method utilized last year. It is unfortunate that most of the IT staff has been found competent, As a direct order from the VP of IT was issued last week stating that competence will not be tolerated. All IT terminated staff will be replaced but they will be screened to insure complete ineptitude.

It is Dork Corp. Managements deepest wishes that you enjoy your improved, incompetent IT Dept.

Bill L. Zebub,

Slayer of Worlds, Kicker of Kitties, Punter of Poodles,

HR Overlord


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