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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Not Today

The sun will shine and the stars will twinkle

Your tears will dry and your heart will not hurt

You will smile and know real joy

Your arms will be full and your loss will not burn

The world will spin as it should be

Life will go on and your wounds will heal

Just not today

Today the sky will be dark and your pillow will stay wet

Your chest will burn and you will see no way to ever smile

The emptiness of your loss will seem unquenchable while your wounds threaten to consume you.

You will shout out to heaven and your ears will ring of brass

But there is tomorrow and if not, there will be tomorrows tomorrow.

And there the Son will shine again

For we look through a glass darkly and this life is but evanescence.



I have seen a thousand people with a thousand excuses. They scream a thousand curses at a thousand problems. Thousands of thousands doing thousands of things. But here I stand, I have seen a thousand people die, a thousand ways. I am but one of many, the last of the few. A chosen bringer, of lifeless food. A wise purveyor of empty promise. A powerful destroyer in a barren land. They call me evil. They call me good. But none of them sees the life that should. No matter what I say or do, they can not see past the outer fool. A fool that dances with merry glee. A fool that tries to be and see. Inner beast of turmoil and rage. Fighting off the lifeless stage. Bringing life and selling death. Running from the awful debt. Of past transgressions and pointless folly. I chose to see life in vivid color. And in that vision is fading light. I run in anger towards fading light, do not leave me I will not fight. In growing darkness I see no color. And again in color is no color found.

I watch as thousands pass, unaware of the awful power that I have held. To twist a world and alter minds. But I seek truth and I seek life. And they call me evil for shedding light. They call me good for killing times. They call me evil for spreading truth. The call me good for destroying the you. They beg for more, blood letting and gore. They want no part of building who you are. I watch as thousands pass me by. Self diluted in lies. Self diluted in cries. And I am the very person who they can not stand, a hunter of ignorance, a bringer of truth. So they will be, diluted in their lies, and death will come not to body, but mind. And I will weep for people who are lost. The Thousands

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Bad week

It has been a bad week all around.  I have 2 updates pending, one of which is a very funny poem my son wrote.  Stay tuned. 

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Frost Bite



The ice and snow crackle under my feet.

I trudge through on my journey to seek, to find.

Lost time and lost love.

The mountain looms above,

Casting it’s dark shadow

It’s condemnation for coming to this place.

I turn into the wind to go deeper.

The bite of the cold and snow goes deep

Into the deepest reaches of my soul.

Bringing regret for coming to this place.

I’ve waited too long

To come and retrieve

That which was stolen



And I let it slip

In arrogance

Thinking I had time to run and catch you before you slipped too far.

And here I stand at the foot of this mountain

Looking for you

The true you




Praying that it isn’t too late

To rescue you from the demons of me

Lurking in the darkness

Stealing the warmth from your soul

One degree at a time

So I will climb to the highest precipice

Endure the strongest winds

To slay the demons and return you from this forsaken land

And back into my arms.

Or I will die racing to rescue you from this dark land

Now I set my course, through the shadows of doubt and cynicism

To climb the mountain of hurts I have given you

Scale the cliffs of hatred

I will endure this cold

This winter

Chills me to the bone

I can not remember what true feeling is anymore

Numbness has consumed me

But I trudge on

My only hope

To find the you I lost

And restore it

Or maybe it is the me I lost

I look into your face

In mid August

As the winter in your eyes chills me to the soul.

I feel everything dieing around me

And I cry out to God to save me

From everything I have become

And everything I have made you

Lord forgive me

For I know not what I have done.


Thursday, April 8, 2010


Darting and running

Sun is setting

Roads stretch

Trucks wave

We are all the white lines slave

Doing its bidding

Go here

Drive there

Slower faster

Lanes end

Lanes split


Service road

Red blue white accrue

Cops with guns

Shooting their invisible Speedo rays

Ignoring the dieing and crying

To eat their donuts, issuing their mindless tickets to the innocent and normal

Trucks moving as a swift heard of Caribou

Leaving their trail of tire excrement to mark the road as theirs.

See rock city?

See ruby falls?

Crystal’s 20 burgers for $2



Monday, April 5, 2010



I stand in plain sight, well hidden in neon lights

Blending into the black background with a Technicolor glow

They see what I wish for them

And think they all understand

The person inside of me

The man that I am

The beast that lives inside of me

The evil genius of my lab

Is cloaked in misery

And makes up the jester that pays the tab

I scream out in agony

And the laughter just roars

Building up the rage in me

Till it blows off the doors

The monster that is me

Glows prideful at their misery

If only they knew, they would all just flee

I want to help and be accepted

But my acceptance isn’t me

I see their weakness

And fight to not destroy

I see their laughter and think that I gave them joy……….sort of

I play the fool to hide the monster and hide the monster to be accepted as the fool.

An aimless genius, a full moon in a starless sky.

Dim and focused



I wanted to leave L, L, L up until Easter.  I haven't forgotten y'all.