MEMO: IT PICNIC Errors

Dork Corp. Employees,


In recent weeks I. T. has encountered a number of PICNIC issues on several PCs in our offices. This can be caused by the rapid discharge of the Flux Capacitor with the usage of a Dither Rod Channel Flextor. It is important that no one crosses the Flux Capacitor main leads with a Dither Rod Channel Flextor, this would cause an ID10T error. ID10T Errors can only be cleared by beating the user who caused it amongst the head and neck repeatedly with a heavy object. I. T. has tried clearing the error by glaring, insulting, and mildly flogging the user but only a honest beating with a heavy object resulting in head trauma clears the error.
Other PICNIC errors we have seen include breakage of the coffee cup holder (It is only designed for Decaf), Depletion of the screen toner (Pressing the Power Button will replenish the Screen Toner), Evaporating printer paper (I. T. Supplies you with extra paper to account for the natural evaporation rate of paper), and Data Reactor System failure to start with telekinetic prompting (All PCs have a button labeled POWER as an emergency back up in the case of this type of failure).



PICNIC (Problem in Chair, Not in Computer) errors are descendants of the old DOS user error issues. The quickest way to solve them is still using the tried and true method as suggested by DOS:

User Error, Replace User



Thank You,

Darth Grim DoomBringer,

Destroyer of Worlds, Shearer of Sheep, IT Warlock and Level 80 Mage

Sea of forgedaboutit

I sit


And I listen

To mindless raves

And thoughtless comment

I make my point

Which is none effect

I explain the day

Their eyes just glaze

I wish for wisdom

They wish for pudding

I say here it is

They say no, there it was

I explain and wait and fill with anger

They say I should not be evil

I pray for God to deliver me from stupid

They pray for God to deliver them some mail





I had compassion and care for their lives

But man o man they are as to and of cattle

They run off a cliff

Mindless and confused

And they want me to join they in there self-righteous suicide of stupid

NO

GO AWAY